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Just Click the Recruit Button and after that click race. Then find the Face of Harold then click it. After that click claim. Participate in Arena fights and Boss Raid. It will give you free carats after the designated time. Much better if lvl 30 heroes being used. You might also like: So now I feel like a doormat and an idiot for being in this position twice. And that upsets me to no end.
I feel sooo stupid!! He showed me his true colors 20 years ago. I forgave him and moved on. He would not admit it was an emotional affair those words were not used then BUT I knew this girl wanted to replace me and cause our divorce. And he remained in close contact 4 years and denied anything inappropriate. So now I feel even worse. Which tells me why I am struggling these last 3 years since the second affair. He admitted the 1st affair to the second OW. And she told me. My grandmother also passed at 97 and she too had her wits about her.
God Bless those strong Zdepression surviving women. Problem is no one figures this crap out until the end and helluva lot a good it does then!! LOL we all know better—no.
We just keep trying to force that round peg in the square hole. Maybe someday I too will die a brilliant woman like your dear grandmother. And I can say he finds himself another OW and wants to dump me for her o will damn sure let him!!! I just hate that I see so many men and women being mistreated in relationships I think because of fear of the unknown.
I was scarred, humiliated and terrified. It was a real low point but not as low as I felt in the presence of my CS! We co-parent and get along fine but He does not meet the standards of someone I will have in my circle.
As I moved past it the cheating and the whole scandal and story had become the biggest blessing in my life. There is no excuse. There is no rationalization. There is nothing to blame besides selfishness, immaturity, cowardice and disrespect!
There is no reasoning for it. Adults have conversations when things get hard. Men and women who do anything other than that are low lifes. They deserve their despicable cheating partners. Let them have each other! There are so many men and women in this world who are good. I am so happy to hear that you are doing well with your decision. I hope you co-parenting with you ex cheater is peaceful and that the children you had with him are well adjusted to their new lives. I put cheating right up there with things people do that land them in prison.
I have a question for you. Now that you are single and I presume dating again or in another relationship, how do you look at that person? I mean are you wary that he may or may not cheat on you? I hope you understand that my question is NOT to antagonize you but just out of curiosity.
They all seem pretty sad and bitter and still angry. Not all but some. In response to your question about future relationships, while I sm still married to my CH, I was cheated on in prior dating relationships.
My atribute was I give someone trust until they give me reason not to. So when I met my H and we dated I did trust him. I did not transfer the deeds of prior relationships on to him. Now I am not sure what I would do after he cheated on me multiple times. However I dont believe, if we divorced, that I would get that heavily vested in a relationship again. Pretty sure I would never re-marry. If I ever remarried my exH would stop paying alimony. I would make him pay until I die.
And have no regrets about it. I agree I have always been a trusting person. I grew up with a family that had extremely high values and work ethic. Your word meant everything. And the last person I wanted to let down was myself much less anyone else.
I do not know if i could commit to anyone else. It is hard to know. At this point I think I would be more than content being alone.
I am not sure what that would be like honestly. But I do not have this feeling that anyone can be fully trusted. My husband had a great reputation and is super dependable to others he just let himself, me and our kids down.
We are working on that and why he felt he needed to put others above all of us. I agree on the alimony too. My husband says he would give me whatever I want if it came to that but we would have to see the truth. He swears he is not hanging on till the kids are gone which we have discussed this a lot. I gave up a lot for his earning potential to skyrocket and even invested good amounts of my money to help him.
I did that with long term payoff and security in mind. So for us he would have to pay off long term not just child support and these early years. I cannot recreate my career and ever get that earning potential back. It is just impossible. So I did have majors issues of resentment and not feeling safe with him related to this. He has worked hard to assure me that I will not be in a bad position financially. But honestly I do not think if we were to divorce that I should ever stop receiving some payment from his business.
I paid for a good portion of his education and all our living expenses for years. Tricky stuff and I hope it does not get to it but I have a lot of documentation. After my marriage ended I went into every new dating relationship with my eyes open. We can all see in hindsight things that were maybe behavior flags that we missed.
Knowing more going forward about shady people and their behaviors my criteria for people I even casually date was much much higher than what it was when I got married. You know better you do better.
So the answer is no. One guy I dated after divorcing was not as forthcoming as I would like and so I ended that relationship with no hard feelings. I just knew I could never put up with any of that again. When your standards are high it brings a different caliber of people to our lives. I look at my ex husband in a whole new light. I am remarried and my current husband is so much different than my ex that we literally laugh about it.
He is absolutely baffled that I even know my ex husband…let alone married him and had children! My husband now is the man I am convinced I was supposed to be with. He is kind, loving and treats me with the upmost respect. In his eyes, my ex is like a cartoon character or something.
He looks at him like a foreign alien object. I will never forget one of the first times my ex met my now husband but then boyfriend. Real men make it known in their behaviors, actions and words that they are real men.
Good for you Emily. That sounds amazing and it is good to hear such a different relationship with another person can be forged and be so strong and healthy. For now I am working on what i have with my husband but stories like yours gives me hope that even if we part ways happiness is possible.
Their mistakes are theirs alone and it helps to know that. It was funny when we really moved past me working through all of the pain and hurt and i started to see him finally open up things really changed. He was so busy trying to make me happy and not be sad and in pain. Once he started diving in deeper and talking about what he was aware of it really changed for me. I had to get past the hurt, anger and resentment. He then opened up and I saw that he was a mess and in a lot more pain than i ever was.
It was kind of odd. It was a process and an evolution since i thought I am the injured one he had all the fun. But as things progressed I saw that was far from the fact.
And as i saw him work through his guilt, remorse and everything else I found i had forgiven him. It was honestly a huge weight off my shoulders just like i have read. Not really to let him off the hook but I felt such a release.
And through that process I realized my standards are higher than ever. What used to cut it does not anymore. I have high expectations and I want and need them to be met.
And yes sometimes you have to point them out but honestly I want to be with someone that is in tune enough to take initiative and live up to my standards. My CS and that whole situation changed me and I was determined to not let it change me for the worse.
If you grow from it and live a better life no matter if you stay in the relationship or not you win. This is exactly what I have done. Not only did I raise the standards for myself but I make certain he understands them. I gave him every opportunity to leave.
Yes, I have been with my h for many many years. I cannot fathom life without him. And I know someday it will be so for one of us. I have never understood how people get rid of long term relationships on a whim.
And yes my relationship does have a lot of value and responsibilities. Our divorce would hurt many people. I had to swallow my pride and I had to try. I knew I would have been dealing with a whole new set of problems.
A divorce would NOT have been an easy decision but neither is reconciliation. My h has been awesome, and forthright and honest and loving and transparent and remorseful and apologetic. Had he not been all this I would have had no choice but to leave. It worked for me. No, but pretty close to perfect in a lot of ways.
And I wish you nothing but happiness and perfection. Actually my question was for Emily. Her life is the reality now. She IS single, unlike we who reconciled. And we can guess all we want what we would do if were single again. LOL point is no one realllly knows until they are in the situation in example staying with a cheater. What I am having a hard time accepting is not the affair but how quickly I was being kicked to the curb.
For someone he knew 6 months. I can only imagine at first you were suspicious but it sounds like you met Mr. UGH why do exes have to be so damn snarky??? Anyway I think you are an awesomely smart woman. I think you give great advice and thanks for answering my question. Hi Sarah Another great article. I said to him seriously and look she is still here today leading you to the rabbit hole, So once again he got rid of and blocked her number after I told him how lucky you are still to have me.
He nodded in agreement. Will see in the next chapter of where all this drama leads him. Trying Hard — thank you! The point of my story about my Ex and new man was twofold. Nothing has changed for him. And he still continues to blame me for his misery…the grass was no greener with the OW.
If it was he would be happy and wish me well which he does not. The point about my new man and what he said to my ex was just that I was surprised my guy stood up for me. How sad is that? I was surprised he defended me without question and took my hand like we were a team.
I wish you well and hope it all works out for you as well. And I know it will if you just stay open to whatever the universe is trying to teach you…in the bad times and the good.
I totally get what you are saying. They are the only ones that can want to change and make the changes themselves. We have no control over others and their decisions and begs iris. It is interesting how your new husbands reaction surprised you. I find this happens to me a lot with my husband now. I have very high expectations yet at times I slip back into thinking that he might act the way he used to. It is hard for me to change what I think might happen after 25 years. Luckily he understands and helps me work through it and also shows me each time he has changed.
All I know now is he treats me fabulously and when he slips even the teeny tinest bit I call him on it. So you could say I may be getting spoiled.
Eff it, I deserve to be spoiled!!! When does one truly put the past in the past? I think you and I have most definitely have to get to that point.
When is it going to be ok to let all of it go and move forward with out the shadows and reminders of what they did and just enjoy what they are doing now??? And NO I still would never remarry!!! This might sound very naive.
But my husband, as many of yours, had allowed this ego stirring indulgence. Like most men he thought nothing of it, but then ended up in an affair.
When my husband was caught he tried to do what any gentleman would do, end it. He is too nice. He allowed her to keep contacting him. It eventually ended for good when he realised I was not going to be waiting around for him. I recommend you pick it up and read it. I hope your husband would read it too. Your problem is not unique. All of us have experienced the same feeling especially in the early days of discovery if it makes you feel better.
Tired you are not the naive one, your husband is. Many cheating spouses get themselves in too deep and do not know how to divest themselves if the relationship for many reasons. One they are scared shitless of an affair partner going all Fatal Attraction on them and their families. Scared that the AP will go crazy once the married spouse dumps them and they contact the BS or their children or worse of all the boss. Some part of them wants to end the affair and they try to cut the strings slowly.
This strategy is probably the worst strategy for cutting the relationship. It just prolongs the pain for everyone.
You only KNOW what he wants you to know. This is absolute manipulation on his part. No of course not. In fact it is nice people like your husband that sociopaths target people like your husband. They are easy marks for the sociopath.
In fact no my dear, it is not a function of your husband being too nice, it is a function of your husband being naive and even stupid and manipulative. He is so out of control. The sociopath AP is the one in control. She likes the challenge. Sarah P wrote a whole article on woman who poach married men. I suggest you read that. She finds his games funny and a challenge.
A cat and mouse game to her. Even then she may keep pursuing. No my dear now is definitely NOT the time to be nice or passive now is the time to be totally assertive and forceful. Do not make excuses for his behavior it only enables them. Oh yes she is playing her role and part but your husband is allowing it for a myriad of reasons. You need to get educated very fast on the reslities of infidelity.
Only then will you move forward and out of the mess. As far as I am concerned my cheating husband is to blame for his affair…not the other woman. He would have cheated with anyone, she just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Cheaters are cheaters and will always be.
To think that my husband could take something as precious as lovemaking and do it with her! Come on, when they were having sex they were physically one together. I could never forgive that! I have more self respect than to do that! Thanks for sharing this article. I am the spouse that was cheated on.
My husband of 22 years became obsessed with this mentally damaged woman, who threatened suicide every time he said he was trying to break contact. I ended the marriage and paid him off to leave. He even tried to come back after I paid him off, he suggested that he leave his new fiance in my old townhouse while he lives with me as a roommate. I have been struggling with this situation. I feel like I somehow caused this. Everyone thinks that I am strong, but I am not. I have been questioning ever trusting any other man again.
He has always been too selfish to be in a relationship. But you will get some great advice and support. One suggestion is to find a counselor who is experienced in infidelity to help you. It can make a difference in how you process this. They are hard facts of a marriage killer — cheating, lying, continued cheating, selfishness, his lack of doing anything to put you or the marriage first.
So why do YOU struggle? That you did all you could but the M just could not continue for so many reasons. But you cannot change someone. They have to want to change.
And yiur H made the choice to cheat. He made the choice to disrespect you. He made the choice to walk away from a loving supportive spouse. Email will not be published required. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Emotional Affair Journey Follow our journey as we save our marriage after an emotional affair. The Fantasy, Role Playing and the Playbook.
Do You Trust Your Partner? TheFirstWife June 14, at But it all stinks. To the cheaters out there — what are you thinking? Rachel June 15, at 6: TheFirstWife June 15, at 6: Glad you survived — it can only get better. Rachel June 15, at Thank you, The first wife! Ann June 22, at 2: Take care Ann Reply. Hopeful June 15, at TheFirstWife June 15, at My exact sentiments and situation.
Does the cheater ever think of that? They only think of one thing. TryingHard June 15, at 5: Emily June 16, at 2: TheFirstWife June 16, at 2: Hopeful June 16, at 4: TryingHard June 16, at 4: Shifting Impressions June 16, at 8: TryingHard June 16, at 9: SI That is such a great question!!!! Hopeful June 17, at 9: Shifting Impressions June 17, at 2: D-day came about 2 weeks before our fortieth anniversary…..
But, how he could have betrayed me this way, still haunts me, over two years later. Hopeful June 21, at 4: SI, Exactly I do think this way too. June 17, at 5: TryingHard June 17, at Just another question to which there will never be an answer. TheFirstWife June 17, at 2: That is how society views affairs. Not always is it the fault of the cheater.
TheFirstWife June 17, at 8: They love the attention and adoration and the praise they get from the AP. It is an ego boost. And that is why I think men cheat. And they cannot help themselves. It is all so cliche. Still Baffled June 19, at TheFirstWife June 20, at 6: So I kicked him out. Told him we were through. Took my power back and regained control. TheFirstWife June 20, at One thing that makes the CH take notice is when the BS moves on.
Good luck in all of this. Ann June 22, at 3: TryingHard June 17, at 7: Sarah P June 19, at 2: TheFirstWife June 19, at 1: I would date and have relationships but not marry. How is your son doing, TFW? Hope all is well. TheFirstWife June 19, at 3: Sarah P June 19, at 5: TheFirstWife June 19, at 7: He knows the consequences. God help us all against people like this. Sarah P June 19, at Ann June 23, at 4: TryingHard June 20, at 9: Still Baffled The only thing I can add is if you continue to do the same thing and expect different results, well that is the definition of insanity.
Emily June 20, at 7: TheFirstWife June 20, at 8: If you have reason to believe that your home or vehicle has been bugged, or your home computer has spyware…. There is simply too much misrepresentation to make an informed decision without double checking…. T Private Investigations, our investigators go through an extensive training program in the art of which includes staying updated on the latest equipment and tactics. Investigators in South Africa. Testing, Voice Stress and Lie detector testing.
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