Imperial Cleaning

PTSD Spirituality: PTSD Damages Love, Increases Porn and Infidelity

D'Amour no longer had leverage with a patent, but still demanded that Canadian Lady stop using the designs, and return the pattern templates.

Trauma and Pornography Addiction

Trauma and Infidelity

He would easily get agitated and always have blamed PTSD. Up until 2 weeks ago, I finally found proof that he was cheating. I had asked him to leave our home as soon as I found out. He admitted to few affairs. I felt so betrayed that this wonderful guy, despite the outburst here and there, is not the guy that I thought he was. He had spoiled me to death, took me to few trips, made himself seem like the best bf anybody can have.

He had always bugged me to get married but I had refused and told him that it was too soon. I have been divorced once and I just wanted to take my time to really get to know him since I told myself that when I do get married then divorce will never be an to option. Part of me what to forgive him and get thru it with him but at the same time, I could just eventually end up in the same situation since for a year a half, he came home and looked at me straight in the face and told me he loved me with all his heart.

I want to heal from all this. Part of me feels like I need him around to help me heal but same time being around him makes me remember how everything he has said and done was a complete lie. From what you describe, there has not been a commitment from him to actually get on with the healing of the violated relationship. In my experience with PTSD-based infidelity it is possible for the relationship to heal and survive and perhaps even thrive.

When one of the partners refuses ongoing discussion and sustained counseling, then the odds of relapse and further pain are high. It is true that PTSD can cause us to engage in some reprehensible behaviors which hurt our closest relations and ourselves. At the same time, that does not excuse us when we commit those behaviors.

PTSD does not excuse us to make little or no effort to heal the damage and to seek help. Saying that I did something reprehensible and harmful because I have PTSD does not excuse me from being responsible for that action. The wound is there and now has to be dealt with over the course of my life. If you do decide to attempt reconciliation, as it indeed remains possible to successfully reconcile, be mindful that 18 months of deception cannot be magically swept away and out of your memory by a few weeks of apology, especially if the apology is not accompanied by sustained action oriented towards healing and authentic remorse.

You are right to be careful and considerate of how this can further unfold. In my experience, it could go either way and deserves a fair amount of time to see if commitments to healing are formulated, enacted, and sustained. Feel free to write directly if you would like. I have been with my husband for 10yrs, 4yrs married.

I have been with him through 2 deployments. He has been on 3 deployments total. When he got back from his last deployment he was different. He would push me away, mentally and physically and was always looking for something to do to avoid me.

He put everyone above me and it hurt. I was so lost. During the deployment he was the man I married, calling me every chance he got or emailing me. He got upset over the slightest things and would get discouraged so easily. Once again, complete opposite of the man I know.

He got aggressive when I would try to approach him, not physical but he blamed everything and everyone. He has been diagnosed with PTSD. He started counseling here recently and we start couples counseling next week as well as classes that teach us about PTSD and how to live with it.

I just learned that he cheated and my world has crashed around me. I love my husband, the man I dated, the man I married. This is not him! I am willing to fight this battle by his side and do whatever it takes to help him.

What do I do? He was in the army ten years ago. But the dependence he has on porn is outrageous and he defends it by saying that all men do it. I have tried, but I cannot. My days are spent in a fog, he refuses to leave. If he has become abusive, and since you have already agreed on divorce, it is time to develop and execute an escape plan that maximizes your personal safety.

Perhaps what you are doing at this point is enabling him, and that at the risk of your personal safety. From your description, he is content to live in the current situation, even though it destroys you. To state the obvious, a divorce is never fun and one will have to make the hard choices.

Yet, PTSD does not license him to become abusive or demean you. You are better than that. Going through this throws its own form of PTSD shrapnel at you and you will need to take extra care of yourself. I hope you have someone you can talk with face to face and who is a non-judgemental listener. Although this situation will try and put you into a fog, be sure to get outside, get some exercise, pray even if it feels rote ,and try to engage in some form of creativity. These acts, done daily, will help you survive and then thrive.

They are valuable in and of themselves, but will also allow you to find some mental space to make decisions that are as clear as the situation allows. Feel free to write me using the information on the Contact Page. This describes my husband. He is navy and was so different when we dated and were engaged. After we got married, he didnt start changing until after deployment.

He has had two affairs and calls me all kinds of names, and just doesnt respect my feelings-or me anymore. He has never been diagnosed with PTSD bit last night je brought up how it was a contributing factor to affairs. Hello Rachelle, Some men will not be able, and for some they will be simply unwilling, to heal from what their deployments and subsequent PTSD behaviors have done to them and their most important relationships.

That said, some will both desire to and be able to repent of the destructive behaviors and damage they have done to others. Some will seek to be restored to the healthy relationships their PTSD has damaged. I wish I could say who this will apply to and who it will not, but since we are all unique individuals, I cannot. Still, it is impressive that he volunteered that PTSD is a contributing factor to affairs. Most of the men who flame and burn their marriages refuse to consider PTSD or the influence it has on their relationships.

In many ways his statement is a good sign. Be sure to look after your own well being throughout this ordeal. I hope you have people you can talk to face to face who are both trustworthy with your confidences and wise enough to just shut up and listen without flooding you with advice or similar stories.

Taking care of your own well-being is crucial. This is basically what my husband has been doing. He is manipulative, has affairs, degrades me, disrespects my family and refuses to put our marriage before other women. He has been close to putting his hands on me for crying. Hello Allyson, Your own personal safety is the first and foremost priority. You do not have an obligation to stay with a man who degrades you and has affairs. While I am personally very pro-marriage, there is no obligation to stay in this situation.

This is especially true if your husband is not putting any effort into trying to heal himself and the damage to your marriage. Your own dignity and personal safety come first. What you describe can be a product of PTSD or he could have just turned into a dickweed, or some combination of the two. Regardless, your personal safety and dignity should be your first priority. The final straw was working two jobs only to come home early from work to find him on my couch with a mutual friends girlfriend curled up.

I put them both out and made it clear he was never welcome back. Recovery is ongoing and takes time, but sticking up for yourself and your inherent dignity and worth will make the journey a bit easier.

The wounds can continue to be painful, but at least now they are disinfected and can more fully heal. Good Afternoon just came across this article. He is active in the military has be deployed 3 different times, and suffers from PTSD. When we first me he was my knight and shining prince, and within a short period a time he turned into my worst nightmare. Long story short I found out that he had lied, and cheated with multiple females for almost a year.

I confronted him about it and he made promises to me that it would never happen again, but I have a gut feeling that he is still cheating. After everything transpired I set boundaries in which I recently found out he has yet to follow. Special events that I invited him to, he never shows, but will attend his friends event.

PTSD damages our sense of self and will often cause us to distance ourselves from those who love us the most. This distancing is often done through infidelity and distancing from the relationship. If he really wants to stay together — and if you want to stay together with him — then he ought to commit to your examining his cel phone now and then. If he is really bad off or fundamentally dishonest then he would get a second phone, but a desire to stay married requires commitments on his part.

One such commitment would be a willingness to go to counseling. You need to look out for your own well-being in all of this. Dealing with a cheating spouse is exceedingly stressful, which you know, of course. But you can also pick up your own PTSD from all of this and thus it is important for you to take good care of yourself.

Not everyone can see such a situation through and stay together, other people can, there is no one size fits all solution. As time permits, read the piece on should I stay or should I go and see if any of that might be useful to you.

I am in the same boat as most of you. My husband and I have been married for 19 years. He is retired now. He refuses to get help for this. He works weekends so for 4 days a week he stays drunk. I had noticed a few months ago he started to use darkening hair color. He has grey hair as well as his beard. I never thought anything about it. He started to be on his phone more and more. I was getting ready for work one morning. His phone started dinging from text messages.

He was passed out on the couch again. I picked up his phone and my life changed. I found out he was physically cheating on me with a 25 yr old and another girl and sexting. When I asked him, he blamed me. I filed for a divorce and he begged me not to. He still wants me in his life. He created a Facebook acct. He said he quit talking to this women and seeing this girl. A month has past. I tried hard everyday to move on.

Like I have for the past 19 yrs. I am so angry and hurt that this is happening. We both have worked so hard to have our forever home. We both have everything we wanted together. Have the papers served and move on knowing this will never end or stay and ignore it. Hello Stacey, You are going through awful, horrible times. Your own psychological and spiritual health have been under assault by this situation and you need to be careful to not get more wounded from this situation than you already have.

If your husband is unwilling to to make a commitment AND a plan for his own healing and healing of the marriage counselling, substance abuse evaluation , then there is not much reason for you to continue to take wounds.

If he is willing to seek help and commit to it, then the marriage may be salvageable. Sitting in a stew of anxiety and anger will not help you heal, so a middle ground may be necessary of a separation. A professional marriage counselor would have the best insights on this.

Ultimately, as you know, the decision will be up to you and other people should only point out options and probabilities, they should not make your decisions.

I would strongly advise you not to make the decision out of anger or pity. You need to ask yourself if you can realistically see the situation improving, what it would take to get to that point, and if you are willing and able to take on that journey.

I hope this helped to some extent. I understand what your saying. To me this is almost like grieving. The man I fell in love with no longer exists until he gets help. It is like the loss of the person you felt you had while you had no idea of what was happening behind the scenes. My husband is active duty and has really bad ptsd. He claims he can handle it, his way of handling it is through drinking.

He can become verbally abusive when he drinks to much which is taking a toll on our relationship. About 3 months ago I found out he cheated on me. We have been trying to work through it but it has been very difficult. Well a few nights ago I went through his phone, which he is totally against, and I found that he has been with multiple women most just meeting up for sex and watches a lot of porn. He found out I went through his phone and he has been gone the past 3 days.

We have a newborn baby and he says he wants us out. Is this behavior normal? Before this incident he told me he wants us to work and wants his family. One day you love us then the next when you get angry you disappear and want us out. I guess I am looking for some guidance here. This spoke to my heart. Now if I could only get my husband to read this.

Do you know of any good couples counselors in the Baltimore Maryland area? Or anyone that is great with military ptsd? You can also email me using contact information from the Contact page.

I usually check that account in the mornings and will certainly return a message. I have found this book useful even for people with PTSD who have nothing to do with combat. I sometimes require it as reading for my students when covering PTSD.

While it is important that your husband seek healing, it is equally important that you also tend to your own self-care. The spouses and partners of people with PTSD need to ensure they are not themselves too deeply wounded in the process. It is easy to feel inadequate and lacking, so we must be sure to take care of ourselves as well.

He has been diagnosed with PTSD just over a year ago. He has been having problems with drinking since before I meet him and has recently admit his is an alcoholic and started getting help this is after I have seen him go through a number of multiple day binges drinking 24hrs. I recently discovered he has also been cheating on me with prostitute through our whole relationship.

I always believed he would never cheat on me and he has often said this to me. I feel like my whole life has fallen apart and am struggling to decide if I should give our relationship a chance. We are currently in communication every day and see each other a couple of times a week although I have moved out since I found out. Is his behavior mainly the cheating a common factor of PTSD? Is it possible for someone who has taken on this behavior to be a faithful partner in future?

I am really struggling with how I can learn to trust him again since I never realized what he was doing in the first place.

Hello Lucy, In my experience, self-medicating escaping via heavy alcohol use is quite normal for people who have not yet learned how to live with PTSD. Frequently, but not always, sexual promiscuity is also engaged in.

I would strongly suggest that you see a professional couples counselor before getting married. It is possible to have a successful relationship with someone who has PTSD. That said, it requires an immense amount of self-confidence, trust, and willingness to talk.

If the person with PTSD is not willing to accept professional help, then the marriage would be under a heavy strain from day one. It is possible to forgive someone who has cheated on you. But it is not required that we forgive and then go onto marry that person if they are not willing to seek healing. Your own personal well-being is also very important here. This is a terrible blow for you to have suffered, the sense of betrayal can be devastating.

Making sure that you are okay is very important. I hope you have a close friend who you can talk with face to face.

Regardless of which way you go with your relationship, do not expect to be able to just shrug off this blow over night. This kind of discovery is very hard and can make a person doubt themselves. Allow yourself the time and opportunity to heal. It is not unusual for people to engage in illicit sex as part of their PTSD. This does not get them off the hook, but understanding and dealing with the PTSD symptoms which lead to this behavior is very important…especially if one is considering the lifelong commitment of marriage.

Thank you for your reply. He has started to do alcohol counseling and stopped drinking. He has said he is doing what it takes to make things better.

I keep having visions during the day of him engaging in sex acts with other people and keep having dreams that are like porn movies from what I can imagine as never seen one with him. I keep searching one of the brothels I know he used and am finding myself stalking a couple of the girls I found information on in the house.

He seems to be avoiding talking about it to me now and I notice we seem to be moving further apart in communication. I know he is seeing one that specializes in PTSD but I dong feel like I can ask him about it as I feel he is going through his own journey with it all.

I am also worried he will stop the drinking for now to stop me from leaving but then start again when he feels he has me back. It is all so confusing! I have been raped in the past so I can notice a lot of my past behaviors after that happened with your comments in your articles.

Especially the promiscuous behavior and drinking because the feeling of being dirty and impure. The ironic thing is I felt like he helped pull me through that when I meet him. Perhaps you and he can sit down and you could share about how you have these waves of doubt. You could mention you are not making accusations, but rather trying to explain about the dreams and anxieties.

If you can talk with him about it or not, you should write about it in your own journal. That will probably not make the daymares suddenly vanish, but it will help. I would also suggest you try to explain to him how he helped you through your rape trauma, it helps him to see he has value and the positive way in which he has helped in the past. I hope that some of this helps. I am amazed at how much I hate and love what you have said here. I am that person! I have thought and continue to think and feel the way you described in your blog.

I am now in a world that you are talking about. I pray everyday that I can stop hurting my family but that seems to fall unheard. I am now at the point that I either hospitalize myself or I will be dead. I have that choice now! I continue to hurt my family and friends by the very process you have described.

Many of us have some apologies including to ourselves to make and treatment to seek. You have value, both to yourself and to others, especially your family. Do not give up hope, rather take the steps to seek help for your PTSD.

I and others will include you and your family in prayer. Good day, I am so glad I stumbled upon this article. I was diagnosed with PTSD and admitted to hospital for 2 weeks. I had an alcohol addiction as well which I denied at that stage agter getting divorced in January. Now when I look back I cannot believe that I am solely responsible for hurting another person so badly. I have since then tried to commit suicide as I feel so guilty and cannot live with myself knowing that I have hurt someone so badly.

This no resulted in my boyfriend feeling less of a man and not worthy. Is this how this disease spreads? I have stopped drinking and got my 2 kids back and me and my boyfriend are still toghether. I am still searching answers as I cannot understand that I am capable of causing someone so much pain.

I know I made a mistake by taking the meds and alcohol. I am really trying to find answers and everyday is like hell for me. Can the medication and alcohol and PTSD make you a total different person and make you do things that is totally against your moral values? Can it cause you to do things and you just dont care? I am really finding it hard to deal with my infidelity and the pain it caused. Thank you so much for a wonderful page.

Hello and thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment. It does not always happen, but it can happen. I tend to think of it as metaphorical shrapnel that harms someone who cares about us and potentially traumatize them. You may find the following link useful: Mixing medications with alcohol when PTSD is already present can cause us to act out in very regrettable ways.

I am aware of some cases where the mix of alcohol, medications, and PTSD resulted in behaviors that the individual would never have engaged in otherwise. At times, this behavior has resulted in the person being arrested and subsequently imprisoned.

In regard to your other question: Does it always happen? Once we start getting informed about our PTSD and what it means, we can begin to take the necessary life-saving precautions. Realizing that at certain times of day we may be more susceptible and more vulnerable to triggers is always an important discovery. Hi Chris, Sometimes we end up oscillating between feeling numb all the time to feeling too much hyper-sensitivity all the time.

Over time, as we learn how to identify our symptoms and find meaning in new pursuits the feeling of perpetual numbness can leave us. As we learn that our numbness is not well-served through certain unhealthy activities we can try to seek out life and healthy awareness. At times the numbness can be a healthy response to too much stimuli, but we also have to be careful to not over-compensate with negative behaviors as we try to find out if we can feel anything at all anymore.

Part of the healing journey is to realize we still have value even though we have been wounded with PTSD. Refusing to give-up on our self-worth is part of the healing journey. Im in great turmoil as i have discovered thru investigating all the terrible things he did. He is also seeing a psychologist. While he is very sorry and doing everything he can to put this right and he does want me back,i am finding it very impossible to come to terms with.

He says the psychologist has said the ptsd could have caused self destructive behaviour causing him to seek other women. I cannot imagine ever trusting him again bit i do know he wouldnt ever do this again as i know him well to when he is taking things seriously.

We are separated and he is loving somewhere else. The pain i feel is absolutely devestating as how could he do this. I have messaged you as i find ptsd hard to understand that it could cause someone to cheat? Hello Adi, You are right: PTSD is hard to understand. You are going through an absolutely horrid time right now. Physical trust, emotional trust, and spiritual trust have all been damaged. It could go either way. If we allow the bitterness and anger to linger too long, then that is what will come to define us.

If we are able to shed them at some point, then it is quite likely that we will be able trust again in the future. And, although this seems weird, it is not necessarily engaged in due to some problem they have with their spouse.

Unfortunately, we are unable to see deep into the future and discover who will return to fidelity and who will not. It is good that he is seeing both a priest and a psychologist. Given his traumatic experiences, this is a good idea for him, even without the sexual misadventure.

It is important for you to also make sure you are chatting with someone you can trust. Face to face is best, when possible. The stress, doubt, anger, bewilderment, can fill us up and we need to release some of that through conversation, prayer, and creative acts such as writing, art, prayer, or music. The PTSD can cause such doubt in ourselves, in our sense of worth, that we can feel compelled to prove our physical self-worth through promiscuity.

This does not excuse us from our actions, but it may help us understand why those actions took place. Feel free to comment further on the website or email me using the details from the Contact page.

This is a horrible, painful time for you. But it will pass, it will not cause you this much pain forever. I lived with a man for over 3 years.

He did a tour in Iraq. He was very secretive, guarded his cell phone, computer,etc, etc. I suspected for a long time something was going on. Had I listened to my instincts it would have saved me from a lot of emotional, physical and financial ruin. He was obsessed with porn and I even caught him in several situations.

All of which he would quickly justify and lie to my face about. I can only say at this point after a year of therapy, that I am happy to have survived the situation. Hello, I am glad that you were able to remove yourself from a destructive situation. While we may care for the well-being of others, it is still paramount that we not become fatally wounded ourselves.

Use of porn and the engagement of infidelity go hand in hand with deceiving others and even engaging in self-deception. You, yourself, are valuable and should not be trodden under by another. Not everyone tries to get well and cannot recognise they are even ill. If someone causes pain from infidelity and porn and seeks helps through treatment and spirirual connection is it then wrong to forgive and in time remain in that relationship? Your reply to the lady that was with someone who had been in iraq and was with him for 3 years decided to leave him.

Hello Adi, Two soldiers on the same patrol may be affected differently from the same traumatic events. Two people with similar PTSD symptoms may have arrived there from different paths. You are not wrong to forgive and stand with your husband. Some people with PTSD are willing to seek treatment and do the best they can to revive their damaged relationships, others are not.

The ability to forgive is a grace. It is rarely an easy grace to live out. If I forgive someone, it does not mean I am indifferent to their actions and the pain and harm they have caused. I may still need to be vigilant to help my loved one not fall prey to their temptations again. I would also need to be vigilant in order to not lay myself out to be blind-sided and further wounded. Some people are in situations where they can forgive and stand together with their partner against further adversity.

Some will find they can forgive, but can only do so at a distance and can no longer be in a close situation with that person. And others will discover, that at present they are unable to forgive or entertain any notion of being with the person in question.

Not any of those are easy options. In your particular case, you are able to forgive and move forward, eyes open to potential pitfalls. That your husband seeks to heal and be forgiven is both crucial and wonderful…not everyone is willing to admit a problem, seek forgiveness, and move towards healing. After posted this I found the post by you, Dr. I hope all goes well with the recovery understanding that you still have other issues.

I am sure the ability to breathe and talk freely is a God send. I am wondering if everything is okay. That said, I have been working on the questions you and Joe have asked about. Have been doing some writing long hand which I will convert to edited digital copy if all goes well. As I recover, I have been able to work on writing projects more and I have not forgotten the concerns about rape, PTSD, and infidelity. Just came back to the site. Joe, my wife did not say there was two people inside her.

Before we were married, actually before we started dating she had a day personality that changed when the sun went down and she drove into the nearby city and had sex individually with a house of single men. It was my comment that she changed when the sun went down.

Obviously that was not every night but it did occur. There are a few things she can remember but not much. I think my wife understood that she was doing something wrong. She went to great lengths to keep it secret, especially from those whose opinions she valued.

However, she never had any feelings of guilt or remorse or despair. What she does remember is that she virtually felt no emotions. We are together but struggling. Married for 37 years soon.

She is finally starting to deal with the many issues I wish she would have dealt with years ago. I knew there were problems but had no idea to what extent. As a caring person you may extend yourself too much. The comment by Joe Garcia was so close to my situation with my wife it is almost like it could have been written by me. My wife was sexually permissive as a teenager. She had sex with a number of married men. A few months after admitting to the adultery more details came out but she still considered herself to be to blame.

She was sexually abused I asked her 20 years ago if she was and she said no , she had double abandonment, absolutely no boundaries established by a parent, sexually abused as a child I still think there is more that she cannot remember and was my opinion raped by father figures as a teenager. Before we were married she committed adultery.

Then after 25 years of marriage at the age of 45 with our youngest 2 daughters leaving home at the same time to 2 different universities she becomes involved with a co-worker. The infidelity lasted over 3 years. I am hoping you can do a follow-up with either Joe or myself on this topic. This article was mentioned on Surviving Infidelity under a sexual abuse topic.

If you can reply I thank you. I understand that you have health issues that make typing difficult. Hello Ted, I will try to buck-up and address this concern. I tend to hear from people on both sides of this painful quandary. There is so much pain that gets spread by this sort of PTSD symptom. While there is no joy in knowing that others have similar pain in their relationships, do know that you are not alone, and that healing can occur.

Also, thank you for letting me know that this post has been found to be useful elsewhere on the internet. Understanding the effects of sexual abuse is something so forgien to me. I have read and researched everything I can get my hands on to help with my understanding of the effects that the rape had on my wife. Your site has helped but I still have so many questions. We are still together, mostly in a good sense, we do have our difficult moments as I try to put the pieces of this puzzle together.

One of my issues is how my wife pursued the other man. Since , the Wonderbra has expanded from the single push-up design into a full-range lingerie fashion label in most of the world.

In most countries, the brand emphasizes sex-appeal. In its native Canada, however, the brand promotes the functional qualities of its products—a departure from the strategy that made Wonderbra the top-seller in the s. Before the Second World War broke out, elastic materials were rationed and unavailable for clothing. Israel Pilot designed an improved cup with a diagonal slash, shoulder strap attachment. This innovation on existing bra design provided more comfort and freedom of movement for the wearer.

The photographs show the original patent sketches and close-ups of a bra made in the U. The model is wearing a rare s version of this original Wonder-Bra design. As part of this effort, he traveled to New York City , met with Israel Pilot and licensed the Wonder-Bra trademark and diagonal slash patent. During the wartime years, Canadian apparel manufacturers were subject to quotas on materials.

Elastics were unavailable, affecting the comfort and design of women's underwear. The diagonal slash offered a better fitting brassiere without elastics, and became a competitive advantage. From to , Canadian Lady marketed several lines of intimate apparel including girdles, panties, slips, swimsuits, and brassieres under the Wonderbra brand. The Company also created sub-brands to target different socioeconomic and lifestyle segments of the consumer market. In contrast, the U.

This new line also adapted to a new fashion trend towards a pointed bust, inspired by Christian Dior's "New Look". The post-patent negotiations were led by Moe Nadler. D'Amour no longer had leverage with a patent, but still demanded that Canadian Lady stop using the designs, and return the pattern templates.

Moe Nadler ignored this demand and instead successfully acquired the Canadian, European, and Asian rights to the Wonderbra trademarks. This allowed the company to move forward into the s with the brand intact. In the late s Moe Nadler started traveling to Europe to find new styles to bring to the Canadian market.

In , Wonderbra introduced a lacy, half push-up bra described in Europe as Pigeonnant meaning "pigeon-breasted" in French. In Nadler directed Louise Poirier to develop a deeply plunged, laced push-up design, numbered the It was the Wonderbra "Dream Lift" Model design that became first a UK success in the early s, a European sensation in , and then the "One and Only Wonderbra" that was finally launched in the U. In the late s and early s, the majority of women were still wearing highly structured undergarments.

The s also brought to Canadian Lady the challenges of feminism , fashions and the sexual revolution. The feminist movement—cultured by thought leaders like Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer —questioned the mores that defined women's roles and appearance.

Changes in fashion trends, such as pantyhose and the rise of the miniskirt , rendered the girdle unattractive and obsolete to a generation of women. The Canadian sales data for foundation undergarments , from to , vividly demonstrates the shift in tastes. It was against this backdrop that the Canadian Lady Corset Company had to act. In , Moe Nadler died and his son, Larry Nadler inherited control of the company.

Women did not hate their bras. Rather, they saw bras as a means to feel and look beautiful, to be fashionable and sexy, and to attract men. While women sometimes went braless, they were making a fashion choice and not a political statement.

Canadian Lady's management knew that girdles were out, but bras would remain an essential part of women's wardrobes. So during the s, while competitors were cutting back on their bra marketing and diversifying into other products, Canadian Lady aggressively pursued bra market share. Later, Larry Nadler identified an age based bifurcation in the market.

Younger women aged 15 to 20 regarded their bras as an enhancement to their sexuality but were not interested in a heavily structured garment. The company designed special packaging in the shape of a die with holes. In , Canadian Lady made several important changes to their advertising strategy. They introduced television advertising and changed the emphasis from the product to the brand. Ads attempted to build consumer awareness of the single brand name: Market research showed that women did not want girdles advertised on television—girdles were seen as armor against sex, while bras provided a means of attraction.

Instead of being hidden "unmentionables", Wonderbras became more visible icons of female sex-appeal. The company also used pricing to promote Wonderbra as a luxury product with the highest price of any mass-merchandised brand. This strategy also provided greater profits in a very competitive industry. The goal was to have women see their Wonderbras as a cosmetic—a beauty enhancer—rather than a functional garment.

Playtex , the leading brand at the time, promoted the ease of care and durability of their girdles and brassieres. Beginning in , the advertising focused exclusively on Wonderbra brand brassieres. The Wonderbra ads were based on fashion and emotional appeal. In various ads, the man would appear as fashion photographer in a fashion shoot or fashion buyer at a fashion show.

The voice-over and jingle featured a man's voice and the commercial showed an actual woman's torso naked except for a bra. All other television ads before this era showed brassieres on a manikin or a dressmaker's dummy to promote the functional features of the product. Every Wonderbra advertisement contained versions of the musical theme, "We care about the shape you're in. The Dici by Wonderbra television advertisements started in The animated ads featured the iconic die-shaped packaging.

A bra exited the box like a bird, then metamorphosed into a seagull and flew away. The tagline reinforced a spirit of freedom and nature: Playtex later acquired by Sara Lee was second. Around , Gossard was selling the Wonderbra lines under licenses that were to expire in January At the time, the plunge style was a good seller in the UK market.

Gossard planned to renew their license and had an option to do so under the existing agreement. Instead of simply renewing the agreement, Gossard executives decided to negotiate better terms with Sara Lee. Soon after the negotiations started, something unexpected happened.

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