Does my fantasy mean that I'm a bad person? What sorts of people have fantasies like mine? Should I tell my partner about my fantasy? What should I consider before acting out my fantasy? What do other people fantasize about? What are the most common fantasies? Look at all these Post-Its! Instead of summarizing or interpreting Lehmiller's points, here are some of them in his own words: The results of my investigation reveal that the single most popular sexual fantasy among Americans today is -- drum roll, please -- group sex Men and women are not polar opposites when it comes to their sexual psychology Our sexual fantasies appear to be carefully designed to meet our psychological needs -- and because those needs change and evolve over our life span, it seems that our sexual fantasies naturally adjust in order to accommodate them.
There's a world of difference when it comes to what turns someone on at [different] life stages According to my survey data, if there's one specific person who's likely to appear in your sexual fantasies, it's your current romantic partner. When we feel ashamed or guilty about what turns us on, it can potentially lead to sexual performance difficulties When the novelty of a new relationship has worn off, adding new and exciting elements to your sex life by acting on your fantasies can potentially prevent passion from subsiding and allow it to keep burning.
There's more, so much more. Justin Lehmiller and I had a conversation about senior sex recently: The response was so huge that I devoted an entire blog post to the answer to the first question: The answers to the remaining questions were less plentiful but every bit as interesting and, I hope, useful. If you're in a relationship that's less than satisfying, what do you wish you could tell or ask your partner to bring the sexiness back?
I wish she allow herself to get turned on like she used to in her 30s. Friends have suggested sex toys. Months after her final chemo treatment, there is no further evidence of cancer. The drugs that suppress estrogen also suppress libido. We are on uncertain ground. It's difficult to talk about, because it is such a change from pre-cancer romance. I'm not sure what it is we are talking about some of the time: All the things that used to work, don't.
It's like we're starting from scratch with a lot of baggage added. She once expressed her sense of how this relationship has gone for her as, "We were dating.
Then I got cancer and everything focused on that. While you were looking after me the relationship grew deeper for you; for me it disappeared. Now I'm back and we are in very different places. Psychological recovery takes longer than physical healing, we both know that.
Yes, I'm in love with her and I know she loves me; she says it often. In what ways have you changed your ideas about the kind of relationship you'd like to have now? For example, would you be happy in a non-monogamous relationship? Living together without marriage? Sexually exclusive but not living together? Part of me -- the randier side of me -- thinks it would be cool to have another partner. But my husband is emphatic that that would be grounds for divorce.
I've been strictly a one man gal, and it's been an eye opening experience to process this new paradigm. I love him, but only time will tell whether I can live a lifestyle that is so foreign to me. As I age, I am more sexually comfortable, adventurous and voracious! As a young woman I was painfully shy, inhibited, and sure I wasn't attractive.
Now I feel strong, capable, sexy, attractive and free to express myself sexually and sensually. As challenging as my current relationship is, I have never had richer, more vibrant, freeing conversations with any man I have been involved with.
It is a gift, and no matter what happens, I will always appreciate what this man has brought to my life. What's the worst thing a date or mate ever said to you?
I ask this after a friend told me that a recent sex date said to him, "You're the kind of person I want to go to bed with -- but not the kind of person I want to wake up with. What else would you like me to know? How to love extravagantly, with respect at all times for myself and my partner s. The passion, while still there, is not the rip off your clothes type passion.
Can we move and get into positions like 20 years ago - of course not. Seniors who take every bit of love making to the fullest every time. Do you want to join in the discussion? I welcome your comments! Until now, I've felt that the Womanizer clitoral stimulators got better with each new version. I've reviewed four of them here -- be sure and read these reviews to understand the lovely, suction-like, "pressurized air puff" technology and how it feels: Womanizer W But the latest mini-Womanizer, the Starlet , disappoints.
I really wanted to love it, because I travel a lot, and the idea of packing a tiny 3" long and pretty much weightless yet powerful sex toy is appealing.
The biggest problem for me is the design of the cap. I can't tell whether the issue is the size or the shape, but with lubricant, it slips right off the clitoris.
My favorite Womanizers -- Plus and 2Go AKA "the lipstick" -- come with a choice of two caps, so you can choose the one that fits and feels best. The Starlet only comes with one, and the part that encircles the tip of the clitoris is smaller and a slightly different shape photo below.
Without lubricant, it doesn't slip, but hey, at our age, we need lubricant. Every woman has the right to experience intense orgasms. With the practical format of the Starlet the high-end technology of the original Womanizer is also available on the go. This mobility combined with the modern design make the Womanizer a perfect companion, especially for women, who are still at the beginnings of their sexual development but nonetheless care about a patented premium product.
If you're a beginner to sex toys and I know that many of my readers are , you deserve a product that will rock your world, not one that makes you go, "Er, how is this supposed to work? It also claims to be quiet. Only if you don't use lube. It sounds like it's slurping lubricant through a straw like we used to suck up that last drop of milkshake in But an itty bitty travel companion should not be noisy.
For travel, the 2Go. Yes, it's a little bigger than the Starlet, but still small enough for travel. If price is a big issue, the Starlet is considerably cheaper than the other models. That would be great if it worked almost as well, but at least for me, it doesn't.
As always, your mileage may vary. If you're over 50, 60, 70 and beyond -- in what ways do you feel invisible as a sexual being? I'm collecting examples for an upcoming talk. Please include your age. A few years ago, I saw a male physician who began almost every sentence to me with "A woman of your age He was lecturing me on how I needed to change my expectations for my body and make allowances for those changes.
The irony was his age, at least 50 himself. An older woman joined in, not flirting with them, just telling her own stories. When she mentioned being in her early sixties they flipped out, complained about feeling sick, and so forth. If I compliment all PC and non sexist a woman under 50, I get the "dirty old man" look! Can't a compliment just be that? My wife often will compliment another gal on her fashion, and it's accepted with a smile. I wouldn't dare try that!
I'm often complaining that little is known about our age group's sexual behavior and beliefs because no one asks us. So I was delighted to learn that researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 1, people between 65 and 80 about their sex lives as part of the National Poll on Healthy Aging The report, titled " Sex after Health, gender differences, and lack of communication ," was released on May 3, Here are some of the findings: Only 17 percent of older adults said they have talked with their doctor or other health care provider about sexual health in the past two years.
Those between the ages of 65 and 70 were nearly twice as likely as those in their late 70s to be sexually active. As I read this, I kept asking myself how they defined sex or sexually active or sex lives. Did sex with a vibrator, a partner's hand or mouth, or one's own hand count as sexually active or having a sex life? I asked Erica Solway, Ph. We felt this was important, but it does mean that we do not have information on what activities people were referring to when they reported they were or were not sexually active.
I agree that our own definition of what constitutes sex is important in a study like this -- I applaud this, in fact. But I would have liked that clearer in the poll questions. What do you think, readers? Am I off base? The wording of the questions is a minor quibble, though, because I understand that the poll was multiple-choice, not essay questions, and answered online, not via an interview.
In the end, I'm happy that someone's asking. This report was all over the news. Here are some of the headlines: OurTime is one of the best senior chat rooms for over 40, 50, 60, and 70 daters — because this site is exclusively for them. A clean layout makes OurTime easy to navigate, and numerous fun features, such as audio greetings, will take your conversations to the next level.
Among senior citizen chat rooms, this is where friendship and romance are very likely to blossom. The Chat senior section is full of millions of mature men and women looking to connect. In addition to being its own chat room, ElderCare Online also provides links to other mature chat groups, which are organized into sessions usually from 9 p. EST and include suggested topics to get the ball rolling. Free chat rooms for seniors can sometimes be pretty simple and not very exciting, but not on SeniorSite.
SeniorChatters encourages users to start off with friendship and see how things progress. This free chat room emphasizes enjoying the company of another and seeing where it goes, which is how a lot of great relationships start.
No matter how you like to chat — text, audio, or webcam — ChatJungle has the capabilities. SilverSingles is a senior dating site that attracts 65, new members each week. Unlike most other senior dating websites which encourage any singles over 50 to join, it only would like single professionals to become their members. So users on SilverSingles are well-educated professionals looking for love in their golden years. This has really differentiated it from competitors on the market.
Due to its popularity and success, SilverSingles has been trusted by a large number of senior singles all over the world and its matchmaking success rate is extremely high as well. Launched in April of , Match pioneered the online dating industry and now serves millions of singles in 24 countries. Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find love on Match. A simple site design, easy signup process and several features make this a very interesting website to use.
Their "Daily Matches" feature helps people to find potential partners very easily. Once you've set up a profile, you can get in touch with hundreds of senior singles from USA, Canada and many other places.
Over50Date is an online dating community for singles who are 50 and older. Every day there are hundreds of thousands of senior singles looking for romance on this senior dating site. Unlike other dating services which require you to spend hours filling in endless forms, Over50Date's registration process is quite simple. Once you are registered in the system, you can start to look for love immediately.
As this site has all the functions that you need, you will find it very user-friendly and effective in general. SeniorPeopleMeet is specifically designed for senior singles who are aged 50 or above.